2/10/2005

la puanteur de condi - the stink of condi

the press sings:

i want condi
bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp
i want condi
bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp
i want condi
bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp

while europe ... well, yawns.

but check out the love-fest being sprayed on condi by the press like so much eau de cartier.

don't make a damn bit of difference - all the lab-coated bimbos in clinique land, even spraying overtime, couldn't clean up the stink of condi.

and is she ever stinking!

it's rare for the new york times to ever disagree with their press cohorts but low and behold if the new york times doesn't step out of the marching line for about 2 seconds today.

you have the always caustic and humorous maureend dowd weighing in with "'Condi's French Twist" and you also get elaine sciolino weighing in with "The French Are Charmed and Jarred by 'Chère Condi'" - in the process elaine sciolino shows she's got more balls than synchronized swim boys steven r. weisman and eric schmitt who waste 2 columns of print before they let alone that condi's not exactly turning the world on with her scowl.

maureen notes a washington post article by keith b. richburg that dealt with condi appearing at the institute of political sciences. like any former child star, condi has rules, rules i tell you, before she can meet with students. the first rule appently is that on campus or not, condi doesn't just meet with any student, fermer votre bouche. no they must be screened 1st. any 1 not meeting with little miss bad ship golly stop's standards finds themselves, like alanis, uninvited.
as for the few who actually are able to see her speak, any questions they want to ask her have to be vetted first, merci beaucoup! even a kid whose father is the foreign minister has to ask his approved question and not:

"george bush is not particularly well perceived in the world, particularly in the middle east. can you do something to change that?"

the french press is calling her the 'princess warrior' and 'madame hawk.' it's all so lol funny. before her eyes, all her attempts at charm fall flatter than a big barbara bush soufle - that is what we're calling that hair style these days, right? poor big babs, to look at her, the world gained a bully boy president and she lost a personal hairdresser!

don't you fret, big babs, georgie will be back to doing your comb outs in a little while. and shouldn't he? didn't kitty kelley tell us about how you used to go up to his boys school, kick off your flip flops and hop out there in the middle of the game in your mumu to join that cheerleading son of yours in a round of keep-that-spirit-up-i-said-keep-that-spirit-up?

back to condi, elaine sciolino tells us how the only 1s condi could relate to in france were a group of 7 to 9 year olds. i told you the gal was stunted, remember?

but i think sciolino's a little off on that. i'm willing to bet that a group of 6 year olds was also included. coz our own personal evita is all about the 'sixes and sevens and nines.' don't cry for her najaf!

sciolino also informs us that condi didn't charm a group of intellectuals. exactly.

i e-mailed c.i. today to say 'congrats on buzzflash linking to you' and to say i was going to write about condi again. c.i. wrote back that condi's stunted just like i said earlier this week.

in a group of true thinkers condi can't impress. she can spit out the facts she memorized, but the gal can't think. she's stunted like every other precocious child that got by on too much charm and too little work.

and as c.i. pointed out, she has to turn everything into the soviet union, 'she doesn't get that the soviet union is gone!' no, she doesn't.

and among real thinkers, condi's simple-minded statements went over about as well as a blouse from the kathy lee gifford collection would at the house of channel.

scuilino explains that condi 'shocked' the intellectuals by wrongly labeling iran a totalitarian state.' smart people take offense because iran is more likely to be seen as authoritarian, a characterization condi rejects.

said 1 intellectual to sciolino:

"i tried to explain that iran was not like the soviet union, that the mullahs were deeply unpopular but unlike their predecessors over the last 150 years they were not in the hands of the british or the russians or the americans. she gave no proof that iran was totalitarian, because she didn't have any. it was scary. unless there is some give on the american side we are heading for a real crisis."

poor condi, her one shining moment and already it's turned to shit. or merde as they say in france. la puanteur de condi wafts over to paris.