so i'm at the salon this afternoon and, trying to be up on all the latest, i'm flipping through the new york times. i know, i know, a contradictory statement. the times is never all the news that's fit to print unless by 'fit' they mean what wall street and officials want the paper to print.
but ignore the writing and note the topics i always sneer!
so thereza, my friend who got shafted in her divorce (gals, get a good lawyer!), has gone to work for this salon. (1 more time, gals get a good lawyer!) things are better for thereza without robin and i say that not because they were an interracial couple but because they were an interorientation couple. robin liked men, thereza like women. but when the trust fund only kicks in when you get married, what are you going to do? move to canada? (that's why i feel thereza got shafted, by the way. robin would still be living uncomfortably had they not made their arrangement.) (fyi, i've changed robin's name for this story but thereza told me i could use her 1st name.)
so thereza walks over and looks at condi rice on the front page and rolls her eyes. "she's like the big dyke at the melissa etheridge concert that's screaming 'sh!' while everyone's having a good time singing along with 'i'm the only 1.'"
to me, that perfectly captures condi. she's incapable of having fun or engaging with people. (and her new job requires engaging with people.) like most aging pet-princesses, she's gotten a little too strident. think shirley temple before she added black and right before she got shoved off the good ship lolly pop. or margaret o'brien when every 1 kept crossing their fingers that she'd find a 'cute' period. (she never did.)
condi's performed her whole life. piano, ice skating, you name it. she's had to shine as the brightest exception to ever get into the club on a pass. doing so meant that she had to repeat certain mannerisms that were cute as a child but as a grown woman are now maddening. and they are set in stone now, character tics that she probably sees as trademarks.
but when your girlish smile captures the center of attention early on, you stick with it and when you find that what was appealing as a young girl is no longer appealing ... well, let's just say that what accounts for so many photos with the now infamous condi scowl.
there is a point here and it's that she's not up to being secretary of state. thereza and i were discussing this while she was putting in my 'natural' highlights. a secretary of state has to be capable of diplomacy, not of strutting.
the fact that condi hasn't bitten the head off sharon or some 1 else is somehow seen as a diplomatic miracle and every 1's rushing in to reassure us that she's up for the job. why sharon loves looking at condi's legs! if you've seen her unairbrushed photos, you understand why he's not looking at her face.
but the thing is, this is her best moment. there's hope globally that reality has to sink in during the second term and the bushies have to moderate their stance.
it's a false hope. but you hear the press trumpeting her -- and see the new york times splash her repeatedly on the front page. you'd think she was a linebacker or something with the love affair the times is having with her currently.
but what's happening is these false hopes are giving her center stage, the place she's most comfortable in, the space she's trained (or been trained) to move into. when condi's being precocious and every 1's patting her on the head she's in her element.
but as with liza, a little goes a long, long way. i mean, a few years pass and you're thinking, 'gee, liza was really incredible in cabaret. they should use her in movies more.' then you buy that ticket to stepping out or arthur 2 and you're sinking in your seat and covering your eyes and vowing 'no i will not let you entertain me!'
so as the novelty wears off, and people begin to see that nothing's changed in the 2nd term, little condi's going to stomp her foot as people want to engage and not just stand around feeding her ego.
truly, it's like erin moran. you watched her grow up as joni on happy days and she was funny and cute as a child and then she's an adult and it's honestly embarrassing to watch her. you're thinking, 'joanie should be an adult now, why is erin acting that way?'
there was a hilarious article in tv guide years ago, before all the talent bolted and ended up starting entertainment weekly, where erin was interviewed on the set of joanie loves chachi.
erin was all smiles for the reporter and talking about how great it was to have her show and then some 1 comes along (ellen travolta?) and weighs in on what a strong ensemble the cast is - which causes erin to pout, 'but i'm kind of the star, right?'
that's condi in 2 months tops. and after she realizes that, no, she's not the star, she's just 1 more errand boy for the bully boy; that actual leaders of countries aren't still enchanted with her girlish charm, look for her inner baby jane to come out and watch out joan crawford because an aging juvenile star is so rarely a pretty thing. (natalie wood and elizabeth taylor being two of the few exceptions.)
even mickey rooney couldn't go on playing juvenile leads forever.
condi's stunted. that's why she can go from being schooled by madeline albright's father to becoming a neocon with no real thought. she spit out whatever you wanted memorized but there's no brain there capable of thought. as long as she's center stage and every 1 hangs on her every smile and canned line, she's happy and in the place she feels she deserves. but when questions go from polite to pointed, watch out.
there's a really funny film that my friend betsy always plays for her 3 year old called cats can dance. in it darla dimple (hope i have her name right) is sweet as sugar while she gets her way but when she doesn't she's on a rampage that far surpasses any damage all three different strokes child stars could have ever done.
and it's not really condi's fault that she's stunted because she's been conditioned to be. the tics that she can't let go of now are the very 1s that used to get applause and praise. if she'd been a little less cute when she was younger, she might have had to learn to think things out.
instead, she truly is the big dyke (over 40 but still seeing herself as the fresh fish in the meat market) at the melissa etheridge concert angry and upset that the audience is enjoying and participating coz no 1's paying attention to her.
