5/19/2005

crotch rot - my editiorial sex analysis of daniel okrent as requested by terry

common ills community member terry requested i do a sexual analysis of the new york times public editor daniel okrent.

it's been so long since i've done 1 of those, but i'm happy to take a shot. obviously what follows are my opinions. despite the peter pan haircut, i'd place him at four or five years short of sixty.
he is clearly part of the babyboom and as a white male of that era a lot comes across in his writing.

what most comes across is a need to be liked by the wrong people. he's the type who flirts at the b-b-q like crazy and thinks it's a compliment to his wife. at the same get-together, he's ignoring her like crazy because he is so desperate to ignore what he has and pursue what can't be.

he loves his ass grabbed in bed, gives him a real thrill. in his mind it's the equivalent of a spanking, something he forever toys with but doesn't want to upset the apple cart or risk not being in control.

he suffers from crotch rot. from the neck up he takes tremendous time on grooming then pairs that with a little boy blue sweater. this indicates that he spends increasingly less time on grooming as you move beyond the neck.

the fumes from his pubes may explain his half-baked writing. but they are of no comfort to a partner for not only do they stink, they're dried out and the skin beneath is damp. hence 'crotch rot.'

oh my god! daniel crotch rot! i just got that.

he enjoys having oral sex performed on him but he's not really interested in returning the favor. this is not necessarily an indication of selfishness on his part so much as it indicates that he has a nasty crotch himself and considers that the norm. he has a fear of the vagina.

his partner gets many yeasts infections each year deriving from his lack of good hygene.

he's not big on deodorant. a week at home could find him doing only the 'saturday bath.'

he doesn't suffer from premature ejaculations but he might as well since his focus during sex is all over the map.

he enjoys sex games. not in the b&d sense or water sports, but in the let's-pretend sense.
his favorite is he's the pitcher on the high school baseball team and his partner%2